Ride, Ride, Ride Your Motorbike to Pai

[I was bored, so..]

Ride, ride, ride your motorbike to Pai, /
buckle on your pack and set off from Chiang Mai /
remember you must drive on the road’s left side, /
and though the traffic ain’t bad and the roads are quite wide, /
oncoming tour buses on the whole damn road will drive /
so hold onto your ass and hope you don’t die. /

Ride, ride, ride your motorbike to Pai, /
With the wind in your hair and whiskey by your side— /
should you bail on the highway leaving messy wounds to cauterize— /
set of from Chiang Mai in search of Highway 1095. /
And though you get lost because the street signs are in Thai /
the strawberry salesman and wok lady will set your path right. /

Ride, ride, ride your motorbike to Pai, /
through rolling hills of bamboo with the shaded mountains behind /
and coffee plantations and villages of hill tribes. /
Don’t blabber in the latter, or you’ll be offered a bride /
and if you refuse, well it’ll probably be fine /
just remember you’ve refused a bribe with a bride. /

Ride, ride, ride your motorbike to Pai, /
don’t go in the vans; it will upend your insides /
for the road will twist and back bend all the damn time. /
It’s better by motorbike, even if it’s the second time you’ve tried /
just keep your head on alert and your wits do not hide /
and never freak out on the bike. /

Ride, ride, ride your motorbike to Pai, /
stop at the waterfalls and geysers when you’re tired /
and float in the hot springs with pretty gals and guys. /
Get lunch at any old Thai restaurant you find /
and persuade smoothie girl to use the strawberries you had to buy /
give her a wink, and this time no bribe with a bride. /

Ride, ride, ride your motorbike to Pai, /
as the setting sun glows orange at last you’ll arrive /
follow the puke-scented shuttle vans as your guide. /
Pull in to a guest house and settle in for the night /
only to be pulled to the bars’ glowing lights /
cus after all, remember, you’re in Pai.

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